Since I have been unable to attain a single goal that I have set for myself over the past few years, I have decided to steal someone else's. Tucker Max is a Duke law student who is making a shit load of money writing very funny stories about his drunken adventures involving fat chicks, midgets and amputees -- and it all started with a blog.
Not only do I know I have the stories to entertain you with, but I was also blessed with stunning good looks and an inherited drinking problem.
For my first entry, I have borrowed Tucker's list (which you can find in his book) and put my own spin on it as something to try to accomplish in the next few years. If nothing else, my stories will entertain you enough to give you a good laugh, or make you hate me enough to give you something talk about with your snobby-probably-picked-on-in-high-school friends. Either way I could give a fuck less. So here is the list.
- Hot female midget
- Amputee
- Twins
- Virgin
- Within 30 minutes of meeting her
- Without knowing her name
- Mother and daughter
- Married woman
- Mile high club
- Professional model
- Famous woman
- Religious girl on parent's bed
- Girl with fake tits
- Hooters girl
- One of my teachers
- Hot cop
- Friend's mom
- Mom's friend
- Escort -- without paying
- Carnie
- Threesome
- 2 girls 12 hours
- 3 girls 24 hours
- M.I.L.F.
- G.I.L.F.
- Barstool Sports girl
- Bruins Ice girl
- Celtics dancer
- Stripper -- without paying
- Porn star
- Girl who doesn't speak English
- Goth-Emo chick
- Funny tattoo around vagina
- Tongue ring
- Clit ring
- Tits pierced
- Deaf girl
- Blind girl
If you have anything further to add to the list that isn’t completely fucking retarded, feel free to comment and make a suggestion.
And if you are a female and I happen to write a short story about you, too fucking bad. You should have known better. But I will not add any real names; I will change them out for funnier, more suitable ones (i.e. cum dumpster, brainless)
Finally, anything that I have previously done does not matter...I have already accomplished half of this list, but I will be starting new today.
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